hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
