I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
