I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
