but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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