I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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