how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
