: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize