The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
