I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize