This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
