My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
