arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
