You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
