I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
