so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
