If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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