Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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