Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
