Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
