My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
