I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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