nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just found puke in my bra..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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