Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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