Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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