yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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