Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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