I hope mine doesn't look like that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
