If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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