check it out our google latitudes are spooning
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
