the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it's like heaven, but drunker
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
