either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
