Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
