Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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