goodnight i made you a song goodbye
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
