He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
this will be a night to untag.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
