he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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