Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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