dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
