S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
