YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
