it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
