Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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