Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
