dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
