I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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