my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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