Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Alive.
So much puke
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
