I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
