Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize