i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
