i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
