So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
