You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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