my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
