Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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