I heard we made out
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, beer. Big fan.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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