People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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