We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
