Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
