i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
