i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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