even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
