I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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