I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
