no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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