marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
